Half Life

In love, I’ve lived a half life.

My family lives exceptionally:
Think of a mom who welcomes
All the lovers of a gay son
And asks them tea.
Think of the lovers
Who live and breathe free
Partaking of my home
And most times all of me.

We are no saints though.
There are none on earth.
But there is just one
Discrepancy.

Peeps say, I am so very lucky
To get to share all of me with those
Who can never share all of theirs with me.
You see?
I am lucky to be able to give my home to those
Who keep me out of theirs.

Convoluted.

If you look closer,
You will see,
I am no saint:
Being selfless isn’t morality.

Slug

Both dead to the world

If only my brain would cease to function

Like theirs does

On call, sleep.

Worry gnaws my inside

And crawls into my brain

Like a –

Slug in slow motion.

But sleep comes to them so easy

Like their brains never functioned

And their hearts never felt.

It must be nice to never know a slug.

Drowned

I thought childhood would last forever

But it does so only in memory.

It hit me in hindsight of sex and love,

With thoughts of the death allotted to me.

My childhood friend lost her life today.

She was one I shared innocence with

And a time that had nothing to do

With loss, determination or grit.

I thought then butterflies flew forever.

Animals were never shot down for fun.

I’ve grown up now and seen prejudice kill

And blinded hatred win life’s distance run.

Things are no longer coloured for me.

They’ve all turned a hazy shade of grey.

If only I could bring assurance back,

Or have a modicum of childhood stay.